How to Achieve the Ultimate Goal?

Come New Year 2020, you’ll be glad you persevered.

We all need goals to succeed in life but it’s not just about the end result.

On the journey towards our goal, our own happiness along the way, is more important than the end destination of achieving the goal itself.

It’s all about the day to day process of creating or learning that is significant. We all want to succeed in achieving our goals to feel good, therefore feeling good is the ultimate goal.

With that in mind, here are some pointers that can help us to feel good while working towards our goals.

CHOOSE WORTH WHILE GOALS

We need goals that personally mean something to us. If we have a goal to quit smoking because our partner wants us to, we are less likely to stick at it and succeed.

TAKE SMALL STEPS

It’s good to keep the end result in mind but sometimes this can be overwhelming, especially to begin with. Break goals down into small, easy, manageable steps and work towards goals gradually.

HAVE FUN

Goals give us direction and intention in the moment, but we can only find enthusiasm and motivation, if the steps that lead to our goals are enjoyable and worthwhile.


BE REALISTIC

Goals need to be achievable. If our ambitions are getting us down or are too difficult and challenging, they’ll only serve to make us feel defeated, instead of successful.


Goals need to be achievable.

BE SPECIFIC

Wanting to lose weight for example, is not specific enough. We have to decide how much weight we want to lose exactly. What’s the ideal weight we are aiming for or clothes size we want to be?

SET A TIME SCALE

When exactly do you want to achieve your goal?

By July the fourth 2019 is a definite date and better than saying, ‘Before I go on holiday’


We have to decide how much weight we want to lose exactly.

You are more likely to achieve your goal with a time scale set.

MEASURE PROGRESS & RESULTS

By being specific about what you want and when, you can measure how you are doing.

If your goal is to lose 2 stone by July 2019 and you’ve already lost a stone by November 2018, you know you are half way there and that it’s a realistic goal that’s achievable.

BE DECISIVE

Decide that today is going to be the day you start.

Set a goal and stick to it!

Then give it all you’ve got, unless of course it’s not working.

CHANGE IT

Sometimes things change, so don’t be afraid to change your goals if needs be.

There’s little point carrying on in pursuit of a goal, if it’s no longer suitable, working or fulfilling us in some way.

BUILD RESILIENCE

It’s hard to recover and bounce back from failure or challenges, if our only focus is on successfully achieving a goal.

Switching our focus to the process of learning, and prioritising our happiness and well -being along the way, will build resilience.


It’s hard to recover and bounce back from failure or challenges, if our only focus is on successfully achieving a goal.

Resilience comes from understanding that it’s not failure or what goes wrong that’s the problem, it’s our own expectations and how we deal with it, and how good we are at being able to pick ourselves back up again and carry on.

KEEP THE FAITH 

We need to build inner strength and faith.

We may not always see how something is going to turn out or know exactly what we have to do?

But we can still stay faithful to our goals and dreams.

STAY POSITIVE

Every cloud has a silver lining, if we can identify any good that comes from seemingly negative experiences, then we will be more inclined to learn and bounce back from them, and try again.


Every cloud has a silver lining!

By keeping focused on the positive and looking for the good in everything, we will eventually find it, and less likely to feel helplessly beaten by negativity.

Sometimes it’s just a case of changing our perspective, other times our behaviour.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

Our actions and the way we feel, is important to reaching our goals.

No one else can actually make us feel happy, upset or angry.

How we feel is our own responsibility.

It’s up to us to choose our response, we have the ability to respond to others and circumstances any way we choose. When we can take responsibility and still stay positive and upbeat when others aren’t, or when things are not going right, we will be the master of our own emotions and be able achieve our goals no matter what.

LEARN FROM FAILURE

We are not a failure if we don’t succeed or reach our goals, we are a success because we tried.

As Edison said about discovering a certain filament, in inventing an electric light bulb;

‘I didn’t fail a thousand times; I found a thousand ways that it wouldn’t work!’

Despite the many failures, he eventually found that filament, had he given up trying, we may all still be sat in the dark today?

His best teacher was failure. Keep that in mind before you even consider giving up!

NEVER GIVE UP

Edison was also quoted as saying;

‘Many of life’s failures are, people who didn’t realise how close they were to success when they gave up.’

When the going gets tough remember this motto:

‘Winners never quit and quitters never win!’

It may be April already, but don’t give up on your good goal’s guys!

Come New Year 2020, you’ll be glad you persevered.

As long as we can remember that the ultimate goal is always happiness, this will not only help us to succeed but it’ll help us to Stay Present!

Em x

Think BIG Start SMALL

Think BIG Start small

Motivation is what gets us going on our dreams and desires.

In the beginning we are full of big ideas and goals. We feel enthusiastic and inspired. We even jump out of bed excited to get going on those goals.

Then after a couple of days, weeks, months or maybe even years, our motivation starts dwindling.

We start wondering why our dreams have not yet materialised into reality?

Negativity and self- doubt creeps in to comfort us, telling us;

‘You don’t need to put yourself through this.’

‘Your life is good enough as it is, let those fairy-tale fantasies go!’ or ‘Who do you think you are you’re no real, artist, actress, entrepreneur, writer, musician, mum, dad, manager, teacher, politician or whatever else you set out and aspired to become?

We question why we even started to begin with and who or why are we doing it all for anyway?

The Key to Motivation is Motive

The truth is motivation doesn’t last. Its just like brushing your teeth, it’s a habit you have to acquire over time. You wouldn’t stop brushing your teeth because you couldn’t be bothered though, would you?

You know over time that would affect your good looks and how others saw you.

And it’s the same when we can’t be bothered to work on our goals and dreams. Overtime we don’t feel good, unfulfilled dreams can leave a bad taste in our mouths and like rotten teeth eat away at us. Others start to notice our slovenly self-care and can see every time that we open our mouth that we’ve lost our mojo.

But it’s never too late!

We can get that energy, passion, zest for life and motivation back. As long as we are alive, we can get our mojo back no matter what.

The Dream Weaver

So, dust off your dream’s tomorrows a new day.

Today start dreaming BIG!

No BIGGER still.

What is it you really, really want in your life?

While we are at the dreaming stage anything is possible. New home, new career, new relationship, new business venture or travel adventure, new body, new lifestyle, new YOU?

It’s all there ready and waiting for you to get started on your dreams.

You know its possible because you see others achieving exactly what you want to achieve. And deep down you know they are no different or no better than you.

In fact, the only difference between those who are living their dreams and You, is that they are taking action and are motivated to do something, while you are still at the dreaming stage.

Hopefully you’ll soon get bored, angry and frustrated just dreaming. Then tomorrow the fun begins!

Start Small

If the thought of your goals and dreams just overwhelms you with its grandness, don’t worry.

RELAX.

You won’t get far feeling overwhelmed, fearful or anxious.

If you’ve heard you have to work hard to get anywhere, forget that too!

It’s working happier, not harder.

You will achieve far more and feel more enjoyment and satisfaction, by being relaxed and happy when, enjoying the journey towards your goal, than you ever will from working hard, stressing out and getting impatient.

Its about enjoying the process. You’ve probably heard that a million times? That’s because it so true.

I’m addicted to doing courses. I’m driven like an obsessed learning junkie, who needs her fix of info and education. Every course I pay to enrol on is completely different because I like a challenge (and I get bored easily!!!) And every course I try to race through, so I can start the next…although I always promise my husband ‘No really this course will be my last.’

I just want the buzz of completion, but what always happens?

At the end, I just feel a bit deflated. A little sad even. Its like getting to the end of a good book or film that you wanted to go on forever.

I’ve come to realise that, I actually enjoy learning and doing the courses themselves, not for the recognition, certification, qualifications or whatever else comes at the end.

And so it is with any goal or dream. It’s the fun, enjoyment and anticipation of a goal or dream, that’s far more exciting, than the goal or dream itself.

Hang onto that sentence whenever you are feeling a bit demotivated, it’ll help you get going again.

If it doesn’t, then the goal or dream probably isn’t really YOUR goal or dream? Or isn’t something that you sincerely dream about, that still excites you?

When I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar (well steakhouse really) I was a lost, innocent naive teen. I had no goals or dream or direction. I was carried along day to day, like driftwood. I was studying at college but just didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life?

Suddenly the allure of the late nights working in the busy city centre, a promotion, and what seemed like a lot of money to me back then, tempted me to work in that restaurant full time.

Then I was stuck!

Don’t get me wrong, it was one of the best, most entertaining, interesting, enjoyable jobs I have ever done. But it just wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I went as far as I could there and then I started feeling like a prisoner, who could not escape, and wouldn’t know where to go or what to do if I did?

Then one day a chef there gave me a book that was to change my life forever.

The Magic of Thinking BIG by David J. Schwartz

Learn the Secrets of Success

It really was a magically experience for me and it significantly shifted my perception of both life and myself.

And I’ve been thinking BIG ever since.

This has helped motivate me on my darkest days. I’ve read the book a few times but not in the last twenty years or so, but the lessons I learnt in those pages are timeless gifts, that have helped me achieve most of what I have set out to, so far.

We should never stop dreaming.

But dreams are rarely achieved over night (unless like me you meet the man of your dreams or unlike me, win the lottery!)

Dreams take love, commitment, motivation and dedication.

You have to be dedicated. And this means taking those small steps towards your dreams and goals, each and every day.

If taken step by step, little by little, putting all those steps together, any goal or dream becomes manageable and eventually complete. I started off with the dream of writing a parenting self- help book, (I knew how important these books can be and how they can actually change lives, as I’ve had several helping me out along the way)

I started small with one word at a time, which led to a page, a page led to a chapter and well ten years later, I now have four books ready to publish. I didn’t plan on a quartet, I was just enjoying the process so much (and at times hating it…. editing!!!) that I didn’t want it to end, so I never stopped writing.

If you are faced with a problem or are feeling overwhelmed, break it down in to stages. Dealing with it bit by bit, will make it less daunting, easier and quicker to solve.

Using this method, we can learn to do anything, no matter how difficult it initially seems. All we have to do is recognise the small achievements along the way but most importantly, be supportive, encouraging, and loving of ourselves, for all of our efforts, not just for our achievements. As long as progress is being made so will mistakes. But we can’t let them deter us or be our excuse to quit. These are our greatest teachers, but we’ll leave failure as our option for next time.

Until then, Stay Present,

Em x

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