Who’s Loving You this Valentines Day?

Love is in the air again.

It’s that time that loved up hopeless romantic’s love, and lonely singletons loathe – Valentine’s Day! 

But whether you’re single, in the honeymoon period of a new relationship, or have been married for years, there’s one person that deserves your love more than anyone else – YOU! 

‘You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.’ Buddha

Loving yourself doesn’t mean blowing kisses to yourself in the mirror in a narcissistic way (although that could be a good place to start?) 

Healthy self- love is about speaking to yourself like you would a loved one, in a supportive, caring way, and taking good care of your health and well- being. 

IF YOU HAVEN’T GOT ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, SAY IT ANYWAY! 

As we grow up, we start listening to other people’s opinions about us, and any criticism received we tend to remember. Then when things go wrong or we make mistakes, we tell ourselves that others peoples negative views were right. We then add to them by mentally berating ourselves, turning other people’s false opinions of us into self -fulfilling prophecies i.e., a reality. 

You can be more loving towards yourself by remembering that any criticism from another person is just their opinion, and as long as you don’t believe it and join in with the hate campaign, then it’s not true.

In life there is The Truth and there’s a truth. And truth is subjective to each and everyone one of us. Is Marmite disgusting? I know what I think but that’s my truth.

Affirmations are a great way to practice loving yourself more, they are simply positive statements said in the present tense. 

So, whenever you make a mistake, instead of calling yourself ‘Stupid’ reassure yourself that you are always doing your best and say; ‘I am doing the best that I can at this time, and my best is always good enough’ and repeat this affirmation often.

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION 

Loving the skin we’re in can be difficult at times as we tend to focus on the bits we don’t like and ignore the good bits. Yet, this is the body you have and that takes care of you, it seems only fair to show it the same kind of care and love back. If there’s something you dislike like your weight remember, your body didn’t do this to you, you do to your body.

Take a look at your body each morning in the mirror and focus on the bits you love; you might have nice legs or a nice smile? 

The more you can practice loving and accepting yourself exactly as you are today, the more likely you will be to take care of your physically body, and that means if there’s bits you dislike now, then in the future with time and loving care, they will change for the better. Focusing on our negative aspects only makes us feel worse about ourselves, and when we don’t feel good, we are more inclined to poison ourselves with alcohol, cigarettes, drugs and junk food. 

• LOVE FOOD & FOOD WILL LOVE YOU 

If we can form a healthy, loving relationship with food, such as choosing to eat nutritious, natural foods, like fresh fruit and vegetables, lean meat and fish, and drinking plenty of water, then food will love us back and give us the energy and nutrients to keep us healthy mentally and physically.

• WORK YOUR BODY 

Loving ourselves means taking care of our bodies. We need to keep as active as we can on a daily basis to burn calories, increase our energy levels, and to release feel good chemicals in our brain.  

Our bodies are designed to move about, so move whenever you can. You don’t need to go to the gym to keep fit, just move. Doing house work, walking the dog, dancing, playing with the children, all burn calories, so get up and get going now, your body will love you for it! 

• EDUCATE YOURSELF

Learning is a life long process. Expanding our knowledge keeps our mental health in order and helps us to navigate life with more clarity and understanding. Broaden your horizons and take up a new hobby or study programme to keep those brain cells firing and re wiring. Neuroplasticity was once believed to only occur in childhood but now research has shown how we are never too old to learn new things and change our brains for the better.  

MAKE A DATE WITH YOURSELF 

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No Valentine to take you to the cinema?  

Then go it alone, or make time for yourself to do those things you love. A soak in a bubble bath with a magazine, a cuppa and a good book, painting, fishing, football, knitting, whatever you choose to do, schedule time in your diary to prioritise YOU Time! 

• TREAT YOURSELF 

You may not have a partner to spoil you this Valentine’s Day, but you are still worth treating, so spoil yourself.  

A treat once in a while can make us feel good, so go and buy yourself some chocolate, perfume, aftershave, flowers, beer or bubbly and a take- away, and curl up on the sofa with yourself. This way at least someone loves you, and you’ll never leave you if you love yourself right, and once you truly love yourself, others will love you too! 

Don’t forget, there are a lot of friends, family and lovers you’ve yet to meet, who are looking for you.

HAPPY VALENTINES’ DAY EVERYONE! 

If you want to learn more about sports, science and nutrition and how you can love yourself and others more, then you’ll find my favourite courses here click the pink button for more info

And as a special Valentines gift from me, use coupon code emma

Love Em x

LOVE YOUR SELFIE

Embarking Into 2020, a new decade, my only goal was self- love and nurturing.  My New Year’s Resolution was clear, and unlike many I’ve made in the past I actually stuck to this one, which was no alcohol during Dry January.

As a result, I’ve not only detoxed my body of all those toxins but I’ve naturally ate a lot healthier and less than I would have, had I succumbed to my ruby rioja.

Now as I approach February the month of love, my focus is shifting to loving others. But we can only truly love others when we learn to love and respect ourselves.

LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF

There’s a true saying;

 ‘If you don’t love yourself, then who will?’

 We must look after and love ourselves, mistakes, imperfections and all.

If there’s something we don’t love about ourselves, then others may not love that aspect of us either.

Not because it’s not lovable, but because we will transmit the message of how we feel about ourselves to other people that we meet.

Our partners may think we are beautiful, but if we think we are ugly, over time, we will start to dress and look the way we feel.

Self-love shouldn’t be reliant on others loving us though.

We should replace any damaging, empty, unhealthy relationship with another, for a more meaningful, loving relationship with ourselves. 

Getting to know who we really are as individuals is self-love. The relationship we have with ourselves influences all the other relationships in our lives, and our love for ourselves is more important than any other love we may, or may not, receive from others.

Fat, thin, rich, poor, happy, or depressed, it makes no odds; you can love yourself regardless of who you think you are, or however your past may have been.

Loving yourself does not need to depend on past or future events or relationships. Anyone can start afresh today and learn to love themselves, no matter what.

It’s the single most loving thing we can do for those we love.

We are ALL important in some one’s life, so we must take good care of our own health and happiness. Should we become ill, we would not be in a position to love and care for them. Surely If only to keep us in a strong position to take care of our loved ones, that’s all the motivation we need to ensure we love and care for ourselves?

We need to learn to love ourselves the same way we love our parents, children, partners, and friends.

ENCOURAGING THE FLOW OF LOVE

We will always feel loving, loved, and lovable when we surround ourselves only with people and things that we love.

As babies, we love everything, even the ordinary is extraordinary.

Yet, somewhere along the line, as we learn to compartmentalise and realise what things are and what they do, we lose our love. It’s as though the magic is lost.

The secret is to start to notice, love and appreciate it all again.

Even the neglected old dried out potted plant in the corner and the junk in the drawer.

If we don’t, then we are going to let it go and release it to someone who will give it the love and attention that it deserves. Leaving us only with those things that we love.

LET IT GO

When we are surrounded by love, it flows freely to others, so it’s time to let go and free up some more space for things we love, as opposed to hanging onto things, we’ve accumulated for no reason.

Look at your house hold belongings and choose a category, such as books, and go through your whole house looking for books, discarding or giving away those, you no longer want or need.

Then store the rest in one place in your home, ideally on a bookshelf.

It’s easier to choose categories, rather than individual rooms, as most of us scatter our belongings throughout the house. This is especially true if, we share our house with others such as our children.

LOOKING LOVELY

Clutter can zap us of our energy and old things can stagnate.

After this de cluttering process, we will feel good, it’s not only quite cathartic but it frees up space for nice, new things.

Having fresh space and only surrounding ourselves with things we love, we look and feel better. From now on promise yourself that, you will use and love everything you own.

Surround yourself with beautiful furniture, music, ornaments, paintings, photos, books, candles, scents, pets or plants, that uplift you, and use them all.

LOTIONS & POTIONS

Next go through your make up collection, throwing out any make up passed its use by date. Most cosmetics have a twelve-month shelf life.

Then jewellery boxes, discarding any fashion items that may have changed colour or gone out of fashion.

Potions and lotions such as perfume and shower gels or fancy soaps, need to be used.

Don’t keep them for special occasions, every day you are breathing is a special day, so look, feel and smell special.

Soaps are meant to dissolve and candles are meant to be burnt. When kept for any other purpose they go off and gather dust.

When we hold onto things, it’s like saying we don’t deserve them, or we are unsure if we will ever be able to afford them again?

But we are special, and we are deserving of everything we own.

That’s why it’s ours in the first place. We can always replace what we use in the future, for something even better.

When we are surrounded by love, it flows freely to others and by making space in our environment we are inviting love in by creating room for it.

Looking for love?

There are 7.7 billion people in the world as of October 2019, according to the most recent United Nations estimates. Just ponder that thought for a moment.

That’s a lot of people.

A lot of friends, family and lovers you’ve yet to meet, will never meet and who are looking for you.

Your Time is the Present, Enjoy the Gift,

Em x

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