At the beginning of every New Year, I sit down and plan my year ahead. I write down my dreams, desires and goals.
Then I compile a list of ‘To Do’s’ to help me achieve them, which usually motivates me to get going.
To get busy weaving my dreams into reality.
But one thing 2020 has taught me is that, even my best laid plans can go awry. Although I had big goals for last year, the most important ones I achieved were not through planning or doing but through unforeseen circumstances and just going with the flow and ‘being’.
Spending more family ‘Us Time’ present in the moment and feeling relaxed and content just doing nothing, happened naturally during lockdown.
Having time to get both of my books completed and published arose from a misfortunate Covid-19 set of circumstances, forcing me to close my childcare business for months.
Appreciating friends and family more was another side effect of being kept apart from those I loved.
And being grateful for everything I had, such as my business, my home and family became enough to make me stop and see that- I already had everything I needed and wanted in life.
So today on January the 1st 2021, as I sit in the warm glow of sweet-scented candlelight, notebook and pen in hand, ready to plan 2021, there’s only one goal on my list this year and that’s simply to enjoy each and every moment with those I love.
Embarking Into 2020, a new decade, my only goal was self- love and nurturing. My New Year’s Resolution was clear, and unlike many I’ve made in the past I actually stuck to this one, which was no alcohol during Dry January.
As a result, I’ve not only detoxed my body of all those toxins but I’ve naturally ate a lot healthier and less than I would have, had I succumbed to my ruby rioja.
Now as I approach February the month of love, my focus is shifting to loving others. But we can only truly love others when we learn to love and respect ourselves.
LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF
There’s a true saying;
‘If you don’t love yourself, then who will?’
We must look after and love ourselves, mistakes, imperfections and all.
If there’s something we don’t love about ourselves, then others may not love that aspect of us either.
Not because it’s not lovable, but because we will transmit the message of how we feel about ourselves to other people that we meet.
Our partners may think we are beautiful, but if we think we are ugly, over time, we will start to dress and look the way we feel.
Self-love shouldn’t be reliant on others loving us though.
We should replace any damaging, empty, unhealthy relationship with another, for a more meaningful, loving relationship with ourselves.
Getting to know who we really are as individuals is self-love. The relationship we have with ourselves influences all the other relationships in our lives, and our love for ourselves is more important than any other love we may, or may not, receive from others.
Fat, thin, rich, poor, happy, or depressed, it makes no odds; you can love yourself regardless of who you think you are, or however your past may have been.
Loving yourself does not need to depend on past or future events or relationships. Anyone can start afresh today and learn to love themselves, no matter what.
It’s the single most loving thing we can do for those we love.
We are ALL important in some one’s life, so we must take good care of our own health and happiness. Should we become ill, we would not be in a position to love and care for them. Surely If only to keep us in a strong position to take care of our loved ones, that’s all the motivation we need to ensure we love and care for ourselves?
We need to learn to love ourselves the same way we love our parents, children, partners, and friends.
We will always feel loving, loved, and lovable when we surround ourselves only with people and things that we love.
As babies, we love everything, even the ordinary is extraordinary.
Yet, somewhere along the line, as we learn to compartmentalise and realise what things are and what they do, we lose our love. It’s as though the magic is lost.
The secret is to start to notice, love and appreciate it all again.
Even the neglected old dried out potted plant in the corner and the junk in the drawer.
If we don’t, then we are going to let it go and release it to someone who will give it the love and attention that it deserves. Leaving us only with those things that we love.
LET IT GO
When we are surrounded by love, it flows freely to others, so it’s time to let go and free up some more space for things we love, as opposed to hanging onto things, we’ve accumulated for no reason.
Look at your house hold belongings and choose a category, such as books, and go through your whole house looking for books, discarding or giving away those, you no longer want or need.
Then store the rest in one place in your home, ideally on a bookshelf.
It’s easier to choose categories, rather than individual rooms, as most of us scatter our belongings throughout the house. This is especially true if, we share our house with others such as our children.
Clutter can zap us of our energy and old things can stagnate.
After this de cluttering process, we will feel good, it’s not only quite cathartic but it frees up space for nice, new things.
Having fresh space and only surrounding ourselves with things we love, we look and feel better. From now on promise yourself that, you will use and love everything you own.
Surround yourself with beautiful furniture, music, ornaments, paintings, photos, books, candles, scents, pets or plants, that uplift you, and use them all.
LOTIONS & POTIONS
Next go through your make up collection, throwing out any make up passed its use by date. Most cosmetics have a twelve-month shelf life.
Then jewellery boxes, discarding any fashion items that may have changed colour or gone out of fashion.
Potions and lotions such as perfume and shower gels or fancy soaps, need to be used.
Don’t keep them for special occasions, every day you are breathing is a special day, so look, feel and smell special.
Soaps are meant to dissolve and candles are meant to be burnt. When kept for any other purpose they go off and gather dust.
When we hold onto things, it’s like saying we don’t deserve them, or we are unsure if we will ever be able to afford them again?
But we are special, and we are deserving of everything we own.
That’s why it’s ours in the first place. We can always replace what we use in the future, for something even better.
When we are surrounded by love, it flows freely to others and by making space in our environment we are inviting love in by creating room for it.
Looking for love?
There are 7.7 billion people in the world as of October 2019, according to the most recent United Nations estimates. Just ponder that thought for a moment.
That’s a lot of people.
A lot of friends, family and lovers you’ve yet to meet, will never meet and who are looking for you.
I spent years reading, listening, and wondering about magic
Six for silver, seven for gold or was that for a secret
never to be told?
There was evidence in my daily life when I saw those around
me that they didn’t exist, yet as the magpies danced on my decking, I read
about writers’, musicians, artists, gurus, professionals and the like, who told me in no
uncertain terms they existed, they were possible and real.
I pondered, maybe I didn’t need a miracle or to experience
magic as all was going… well …. normal and good in my life?
Or maybe I’d missed them?
Maybe they were there but I couldn’t identify them?
Until recently, when I won a writing competition to get my
book published worldwide. In that moment I felt synchronicity, that serendipitous,
deliciousness when I had taken action at precisely the right time, and my path
had crossed another who was looking for someone like me. I felt it must be a
miracle as my book had sat idle on my laptop for ten years. Now before my very
eyes two books had blossomed over -night, and in that moment when I won, I knew
there was magic in the air. I felt excited, even more so than any child could
ever on Christmas morning. This was a long-awaited moment whose time had come.
But to any other on looker, stranger, friend or family
member, it was just an ordinary, mundane moment in time. Not for me, I for the
first time felt the magic, experienced a miracle slowly unfold and now, I could
at last join those other positivity preachers, who gave me faith and hope along
my way, when years went by that were certainly grey. When progress never
shifted, not even an inch and I dreamed of the life I felt I should be living.
Do you have a dream in you?
Do you want a miracle or a sprinkling of magic to shimmy up
What desires have you put off over the years that need
You know, the ones you feel sad to recall, the ones you feel
jealous and envious that others have achieved. The ones that ignite anger or
injustice for escaping you. The ones you feel you’re too young, too old, too
poor, too uneducated, too unexperienced to begin now?
The dreams buried so deep not even an excavator could dig them
That’s your miracle waiting, that’s your magic!
It’s time to start your enchanted journey. Discover for real
what’s possible for you and what’s not, there’s value in both, for when the day
arrives and you’re forced to look back upon the days when anything was possible,
you’ll wonder why you never proved yourself right or wrong?
Why you did nothing.
There’s pain and suffering in the not knowing and the
inertia of not even trying. So, by going for your dreams and desires or simple
fleeting fancies, what do you have to lose right now?
Don’t cling to regret like its going to justify your
existence, it won’t. Grab hold of your destiny where ever that may take you,
pick up that paint brush, open that gallery, chuck clay on your wheel, shoot
that landscape, open that cake shop, scribble in the coffee shop or sing in the
choir of your local church.
Take the risk. Make the steps you walk count and the words
you utter matter. Because they do, if not for you for all those you encounter!
Life has a funny way of slowing us
down and making us conscious at times.
Recently I had a minor operation on my foot, which forced me to literally keep my feet up for a few days. I was frustrated by the inconvenience to say the least!
That was until I realised the
perfection in the problem.
I had been struggling to find time to focus on my accounts and finish editing my latest book for months, and I was almost worn out with everything I had to do, then suddenly I was forced to put my feet up and relax.
And guess what?
I finished those accounts in a weekend
and made significant progress with my book, and I had a lot of shut eye to
I also had time to think and to appreciate all those things we usually take for granted. Hidden treasures such as; the sound and glow of a crackling fire on a cold day, the taste of tea and warm toast dripping in butter, the smell of clean fresh laundry blowing on the washing line, and the comfort of crisp cotton sheets on your bed at night.
Each day presents us with an array of beautiful moments, that can easily go by unnoticed by our every day senses.
Our health is also something we rarely consider when we are so busy, and it’s certainly something we all take for granted until we become ill, or are unable to function physically or mentally in some way.
I constantly see individuals apologising that, they need a break from helping others and from social media, but it’s not something any of us should feel guilty about.
Self -care should be our priority
first and foremost, I mean who cares for YOU if you don’t?
Feeling our body’s discomfort and not
be able to do what we want, is the surest sign from Life that, it’s time to
slow down. It also gives us the space and time to think about our daily lives,
including those habits we rarely, if ever notice.
And these habits are not all bad!
Today I’m finally going to be free of my stiches or should I say sutures?
At last I will be able to enjoy a nice warm bubble bath again. Ahhh…. the bliss hidden in the simple things in life, that we all take for granted.
Next time you have a bath feel the warm water surround you, notice the sparkling bubbles, floating on the surface, and the smelling scent of the soap. Feel your skin wet and soapy and take in the full experience of having a bath.
Luxuriate in this refreshing
How often do you bath without thinking
about these things or without really enjoying or appreciating the experience?
That’s because when bathing, we are
usually somewhere else in mind.
Instead of relaxing in the present moment and enjoying the pleasurable experience, we take it for granted, and it becomes another habit, or as I like to call them Auto Pilot chore.
In fact, anything we do often tends to end up this way. We become desensitised by its familiarity.
We all need time out now and again. Even the most gregarious amongst us need some alone time to; plan, ponder, reflect and recuperate.
But we needn’t wait until we are
forced or it’s too late!
Making ‘U Time’ should be our every
day priority. And that includes taking care of our physical health and
appearance, sleeping well, eating clean, exercising, meditating, learning, laughing
and spending time with those we love, doing what we love most.
Something life was telling me to get back into alignment with, but I hadn’t been listening to while I was chasing my goals.
Are you a bag of nerves when it comes
to job interviews?
Do you wish you could turn your
anxiety and fear into courageous confidence instead?
Then read on to discover how, when it comes to job interviews, getting hired is an ‘inside job’ that can work for you.
YOU’RE WORTH MORE
When clients who are looking to find a new vocation, come to me for coaching, they nearly all have one thing in common; they never set their sights high enough.
When looking for employment, people tend to stay within, financial income comfort zones, and cap the amount they think they are worth, overlooking those positions offering higher salaries. Don’t just limit your search to a job that is in your current earning bracket, when you realise how precious your time and skills are to others, your earning potential increases.
However you must want the career, not just the money it brings. If your motivation is job satisfaction, then you’re more likely to get the job you want, and to do it well. Know what you want from an occupation and what you have to offer. Think of things you enjoy doing, past, present and future, and seek possibilities in those areas.
Interviewers can smell the difference between candidates desperately needing a job, and enthusiastic people who passionately want the job. So take a deep breath and relax!
BE SELF- AWARE
That is why, being self- aware of your own motives can help in getting hired or not, it can also help in coming across as confident.
Interviewers want to see how quick you can think on your feet and how self- aware you are. It’s not what you say that counts, but how you respond to a question, so be conscious of your strong and weak points in advance, because they will ask you about them. Ideally think of a weakness beforehand, that you can turn into a positive, for e.g. you could say:
‘In the past I always had to work late, but now I’ve learnt how to prioritise my time more effectively.’
This will say a lot more about your strengths than your weaknesses, and will help you to stay present in the moment at all times. If you’ve planned well, then there will be no need for you to think of an answer, while the question is still being asked.
In the words of Benjamin Franklin:
‘If you fail to plan, you are
planning to fail!’
So be prepared and research the
company and role, the more information you have the better. Also look at what
similar posts and other companies have to offer, this is useful to know,
especially if you get offered the position.
Beforehand visualize the interview in every detail as you would like it to be, and focus only on what you want to achieve. Arm yourself with an abundance of your strengths, so you will be ready whenever an opportunity arises to tailor your skills to the job role.
Buying a new suit or getting your
hair cut will also prepare you and boost your confidence, and will be one less
thing to worry about. Moreover, when you are looking good your confidence will
shine through, and building rapport will be easier.
Remember you are both there for the
same reason- to fill the vacancy, so relax and show the real you. If you are
feeling anxious and nervous take some deep belly breaths, and say to yourself
ten times ‘I am the right person for this job’
Subtly match the interviewer’s body posture, tone and speed of speech, this way you will build rapport a lot quicker. And once that connection has been made, you will feel more comfortable and able to concentrate on the conversation.
A LEARNING OPPORTUNITY
Don’t be disheartened if you don’t
get the job though, it’s not always the best candidate that gets the position;
it’s who the interviewer feels is the best interviewee on the day.
Afterwards ask for some feedback, and when you get home write a few notes on what did or didn’t go so well, so you can refer to them in preparation for next time. Remember to keep things in perspective, it’s not a life or death situation, no matter how important it may feel to you at the time. View it as practice and experience leading up to the real thing- your dream job.
Sometimes those perceived disappointments in life, such as that lost job opportunity, redundancy, divorce or sickness, all fool us into thinking they are unfortunate events.
That God, The Universe or Lady
Luck is not really listening or not really there!
But there’s always a force
greater than us at work on our behalf.
Those things are meant to be a way of directing us in a different direction, for good reason. Although that may not be apparent right now, all will become clear in the not so distant future.
FORTUNE CAN MAKE US REDUNDANT
When my Husband was being made
redundant, everyone I told sympathized with my plight.
‘Oh, no poor you, what are you
going to do?
Not one person could see the
positive in the situation.
This amazed me as it was the
best thing that could have ever happened to us.
We had spoken of my Husband
joining me in my Childminding business as he was working away a lot and
travelling home late in the evenings, missing time with our young children. Often,
they’d be in bed by the time he arrived home.
My business was growing and I
had a waiting list of children waiting for childcare, needing my services but I
was limited by how many children I could care for, governed by professional
We didn’t feel brave enough
for both of us to take the risk of being self-employed together. On top of that,
we knew it would take at least a year for my husband to train and become
registered as a childminder, a year of not working we couldn’t afford him to
Then like magic, all our
prayers had been answered at once.
He was made redundant so he
got redundancy pay. Not much but we then had payment protection on our mortgage
which paid our mortgage for a whole year, plus they had a back to work
incentive and paid for his training to become a childminder. By the time the
payment protection had ended, he was registered and able to start working
straight away, and we have never looked back.
A PRICELESS OPPORTUNITY
We spend every day together, while
he has played with, cared for, and watched our children grow up. Being a hands-on
Dad has enabled him to take our children to and from school every day and watch
their school concerts.
As well as all of those lovely
perks, we have expanded our business to twice its size, earning us more income
than we’ve ever had, all from the comfort of our family home. No more commuting
cross country, with the added blessing that our house is always filled with
children, who fill our home and life with love and laughter, which is
Had we perceived the
redundancy as negative, it could well have taken us on a different path.
Life knew better than us, she had
a better, bigger more loving plan for not only us, but the hundreds of children
including our own, that we’ve had the pleasure of taking care of over the
Sometimes all we can see is our current circumstances, and if they don’t look too good at the time, life can get us down. My life story, like most peoples, didn’t start off too good but turned out even better than I could ever have imagined. It too has a positive redundancy story line.
started with a list.
remember while in work, bored one day in a photographic retail job, for no
reason, grabbing a piece of paper from the printer and making a five-year plan.
it was a list really of five things I wanted to achieve, within the next five
years. It went something like this.
Give up smoking.
Get married in the Caribbean.
Buy a house.
Have two children a boy and a girl specifically.
Have my own business working from home.
Again, as if by
magic it would seem Lady Life was humorously looking down upon
my list and as a sarcastic joke, offered me the opposite to what I wanted…or
My plans to buy the
house I was renting were dashed within days of writing that list, with news
that, I was being faced with redundancy as where I worked was closing down.
My then boyfriend also decided to leave me, which seen my smoking habit increase, and demolished my plans of getting married in the Caribbean and having two children.
But actually, Lady
Life heard me.
She knew what I
wanted and she cleared the way for me to recognize its possibility in my life.
Some may have
temporarily given up on their dreams at this point.
I was at an all-time
low and my Nan who had brought me up as my Mum, had died too at the same time.
That’s when I was head hunted. I was sat in work seeing out my final weeks before redundancy, wondering what on earth I was going to do, when a manager from a business next door came in and asked me to go for an interview, as they were looking for someone to do what I was doing, selling digital cameras in their company!!!
I was reluctant to
go for the interview at first, as it was doing the same boring job I was
already doing, which I hated. Fortunately, my current manager urged me to go
for the interview in order to keep my options open, as time was running out and
I hadn’t even looked for another job yet. So, I went for the interview.
As I wasn’t keen
on getting the job I was quite laid back, calm and relaxed in the interview. So
much so, I had blagged a huge pay rise compared to what I was earning in my
I had negotiated saying I earnt more when I didn’t, and that I wanted to earn more than that again. They didn’t hesitate in giving me what I asked for. I was one of the highest paid sales person’s on a salary, in the whole company. Having this new job and increase in income, I applied for a mortgage as quick as I could, (banks were not willing to lend you money unless you had been in your job at least six months) so I had to act fast before I left my old job and started my new one, which was weeks away.
The mortgage went
through within weeks, and was final just as I started my new job. That was one
thing achieved from my five-year plan already.
Then in my new job I met my husband. We were engaged within six months of getting together, married in the Caribbean within ten months. I gave up smoking to try for a baby. Then started a childminding business from home a year later, when we had our first baby, a little girl. Two years later our son arrived.
Unbeknown to me, I had ticked all five things off my five-year plan, within five years.
It wasn’t until years
later when I found that piece of paper, that I had scribbled that list on out
of boredom one day, that I realise
what had manifested in my life as a result, without any real expectation or effort
on my part.
One of the most powerful tools for creating a life we love is the humble written word.
It doesn’t matter how we freeze those words in physical form, either by writing to -do -lists, five- year plans or keeping journals or diaries? Our written thoughts, feelings and intentions, excel their physical creation.
I don’t know why? or how? This is such a powerful way to create our lives.
We all need goals to succeed in life but it’s not
just about the end result.
On the journey towards our goal, our own happiness
along the way, is more important than the end destination of achieving the goal
It’s all about the day to day process of creating
or learning that is significant. We all want to succeed in achieving our goals
to feel good, therefore feeling good is the ultimate goal.
With that in mind, here are some pointers that can help us to feel good while working towards our goals.
WORTH WHILE GOALS
We need goals that personally mean something to us.
If we have a goal to quit smoking because our partner wants us to, we are less
likely to stick at it and succeed.
TAKE SMALL STEPS
It’s good to keep the end result in mind but sometimes this can be overwhelming, especially to begin with. Break goals down into small, easy, manageable steps and work towards goals gradually.
Goals give us direction and intention in the
moment, but we can only find enthusiasm and motivation, if the steps that lead
to our goals are enjoyable and worthwhile.
Goals need to be achievable. If our ambitions are getting
us down or are too difficult and challenging, they’ll only serve to make us
feel defeated, instead of successful.
Wanting to lose weight for example, is not specific
enough. We have to decide how much weight we want to lose exactly. What’s the
ideal weight we are aiming for or clothes size we want to be?
A TIME SCALE
When exactly do you want to achieve your goal?
By July the fourth 2019 is a definite date and
better than saying, ‘Before I go on holiday’
You are more likely to achieve your goal with a
time scale set.
PROGRESS & RESULTS
By being specific about what you want and when, you can measure how you are doing.
If your goal is to lose 2 stone by July 2019 and you’ve already lost a stone by November 2018, you know you are half way there and that it’s a realistic goal that’s achievable.
Decide that today is going to be the day you start.
Set a goal and stick to it!
Then give it all you’ve got, unless of course it’s
Sometimes things change, so don’t be afraid to
change your goals if needs be.
There’s little point carrying on in pursuit of a
goal, if it’s no longer suitable, working or fulfilling us in some way.
It’s hard to recover and bounce back from failure
or challenges, if our only focus is on successfully achieving a goal.
Switching our focus to the process of learning, and
prioritising our happiness and well -being along the way, will build
Resilience comes from understanding that it’s not
failure or what goes wrong that’s the problem, it’s our own expectations and
how we deal with it, and how good we are at being able to pick ourselves back
up again and carry on.
We need to build inner strength and faith.
We may not always see how something is going to
turn out or know exactly what we have to do?
But we can still stay faithful to our goals and
Every cloud has a silver lining, if we can identify
any good that comes from seemingly negative experiences, then we will be more
inclined to learn and bounce back from them, and try again.
By keeping focused on the positive and looking for
the good in everything, we will eventually find it, and less likely to feel
helplessly beaten by negativity.
Sometimes it’s just a case of changing our
perspective, other times our behaviour.
Our actions and the way we feel, is important to
reaching our goals.
No one else can actually make us feel happy, upset
How we feel is our own responsibility.
It’s up to us to choose our response, we have the
ability to respond to others and circumstances any way we choose. When we can
take responsibility and still stay positive and upbeat when others aren’t, or
when things are not going right, we will be the master of our own emotions and
be able achieve our goals no matter what.
We are not a failure if we don’t succeed or reach
our goals, we are a success because we tried.
As Edison said about discovering a certain filament,
in inventing an electric light bulb;
‘I didn’t fail a thousand times; I found a thousand
ways that it wouldn’t work!’
Despite the many failures, he eventually found that filament, had he given up trying, we may all still be sat in the dark today?
His best teacher was failure. Keep that in mind
before you even consider giving up!
Edison was also quoted as saying;
‘Many of life’s failures are, people who didn’t
realise how close they were to success when they gave up.’
When the going gets tough remember this motto:
‘Winners never quit and quitters never win!’
It may be April already, but don’t give up on your
good goal’s guys!
Come New Year 2020, you’ll be glad you persevered.
As long as we can remember that the ultimate goal is always happiness, this will not only help us to succeed but it’ll help us to Stay Present!
Motivation is what gets us going on
our dreams and desires.
In the beginning we are full of big
ideas and goals. We feel enthusiastic and inspired. We even jump out of bed excited
to get going on those goals.
Then after a couple of days, weeks,
months or maybe even years, our motivation starts dwindling.
We start wondering why our dreams have
not yet materialised into reality?
Negativity and self- doubt creeps in
to comfort us, telling us;
‘You don’t need to put yourself
‘Your life is good enough as it is,
let those fairy-tale fantasies go!’ or ‘Who do you think you are you’re no
real, artist, actress, entrepreneur, writer, musician, mum, dad, manager,
teacher, politician or whatever else you set out and aspired to become?
We question why we even started to
begin with and who or why are we doing it all for anyway?
The Key to Motivation is Motive
The truth is motivation doesn’t last. Its just like brushing your teeth, it’s a habit you have to acquire over time. You wouldn’t stop brushing your teeth because you couldn’t be bothered though, would you?
You know over time that would affect
your good looks and how others saw you.
And it’s the same when we can’t be
bothered to work on our goals and dreams. Overtime we don’t feel good, unfulfilled
dreams can leave a bad taste in our mouths and like rotten teeth eat away at
us. Others start to notice our slovenly self-care and can see every time that
we open our mouth that we’ve lost our mojo.
But it’s never too late!
We can get that energy, passion, zest
for life and motivation back. As long as we are alive, we can get our mojo back
no matter what.
The Dream Weaver
So, dust off your dream’s tomorrows a
Today start dreaming BIG!
No BIGGER still.
What is it you really, really want in
While we are at the dreaming stage anything is possible. New home, new career, new relationship, new business venture or travel adventure, new body, new lifestyle, new YOU?
It’s all there ready and waiting for
you to get started on your dreams.
You know its possible because you see
others achieving exactly what you want to achieve. And deep down you know they
are no different or no better than you.
In fact, the only difference between
those who are living their dreams and You, is that they are taking action and
are motivated to do something, while you are still at the dreaming stage.
Hopefully you’ll soon get bored, angry and frustrated just dreaming. Then tomorrow the fun begins!
If the thought of your goals and
dreams just overwhelms you with its grandness, don’t worry.
You won’t get far feeling overwhelmed,
fearful or anxious.
If you’ve heard you have to work hard to get anywhere, forget that too!
It’s working happier, not harder.
You will achieve far more and feel more enjoyment and satisfaction, by being relaxed and happy when, enjoying the journey towards your goal, than you ever will from working hard, stressing out and getting impatient.
Its about enjoying the process. You’ve probably heard that a million times? That’s because it so true.
I’m addicted to doing courses. I’m driven like an obsessed learning junkie, who needs her fix of info and education. Every course I pay to enrol on is completely different because I like a challenge (and I get bored easily!!!) And every course I try to race through, so I can start the next…although I always promise my husband ‘No really this course will be my last.’
I just want the buzz of completion,
but what always happens?
At the end, I just feel a bit deflated.
A little sad even. Its like getting to the end of a good book or film that you
wanted to go on forever.
I’ve come to realise that, I actually enjoy learning and doing the courses themselves, not for the recognition, certification, qualifications or whatever else comes at the end.
And so it is with any goal or dream. It’s the fun, enjoyment and anticipation of a goal or dream, that’s far more exciting, than the goal or dream itself.
Hang onto that sentence whenever you are feeling a bit demotivated, it’ll help you get going again.
If it doesn’t, then the goal or dream probably isn’t really YOUR goal or dream? Or isn’t something that you sincerely dream about, that still excites you?
When I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar (well steakhouse really) I was a lost, innocent naive teen. I had no goals or dream or direction. I was carried along day to day, like driftwood. I was studying at college but just didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life?
Suddenly the allure of the late nights working in the busy city centre, a promotion, and what seemed like a lot of money to me back then, tempted me to work in that restaurant full time.
Then I was stuck!
Don’t get me wrong, it was one of the best, most entertaining, interesting, enjoyable jobs I have ever done. But it just wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I went as far as I could there and then I started feeling like a prisoner, who could not escape, and wouldn’t know where to go or what to do if I did?
Then one day a chef there gave me a
book that was to change my life forever.
The Magic of Thinking BIG by David J.
It really was a magically experience for
me and it significantly shifted my perception of both life and myself.
And I’ve been thinking BIG ever since.
This has helped motivate me on my darkest days. I’ve read the book a few times but not in the last twenty years or so, but the lessons I learnt in those pages are timeless gifts, that have helped me achieve most of what I have set out to, so far.
We should never stop dreaming.
But dreams are rarely achieved over
night (unless like me you meet the man of your dreams or unlike me, win the
Dreams take love, commitment, motivation and
You have to be dedicated. And this
means taking those small steps towards your dreams and goals, each and every
If taken step by step, little by little, putting all those steps together, any goal or dream becomes manageable and eventually complete. I started off with the dream of writing a parenting self- help book, (I knew how important these books can be and how they can actually change lives, as I’ve had several helping me out along the way)
I started small with one word at a time, which led to a page, a page led to a chapter and well ten years later, I now have four books ready to publish. I didn’t plan on a quartet, I was just enjoying the process so much (and at times hating it…. editing!!!) that I didn’t want it to end, so I never stopped writing.
If you are faced with a problem or are feeling overwhelmed, break it down in to stages. Dealing with it bit by bit, will make it less daunting, easier and quicker to solve.
Using this method, we can learn to do anything, no matter how difficult it initially seems. All we have to do is recognise the small achievements along the way but most importantly, be supportive, encouraging, and loving of ourselves, for all of our efforts, not just for our achievements. As long as progress is being made so will mistakes. But we can’t let them deter us or be our excuse to quit. These are our greatest teachers, but we’ll leave failure as our option for next time.