SMARTER GOALS

Eating high calorific foods, reduced activity levels and increased alcohol consumption were some of the thing’s lockdown comforted us with.

wine, cheese and processed meat a thing of the past or occasional treat?

But moving forward it’s time to get out of our comfort zone on the couch and get going again.

Continue reading “SMARTER GOALS”

LOVE YOUR SELFIE

Embarking Into 2020, a new decade, my only goal was self- love and nurturing.  My New Year’s Resolution was clear, and unlike many I’ve made in the past I actually stuck to this one, which was no alcohol during Dry January.

As a result, I’ve not only detoxed my body of all those toxins but I’ve naturally ate a lot healthier and less than I would have, had I succumbed to my ruby rioja.

Now as I approach February the month of love, my focus is shifting to loving others. But we can only truly love others when we learn to love and respect ourselves.

LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF

There’s a true saying;

 ‘If you don’t love yourself, then who will?’

 We must look after and love ourselves, mistakes, imperfections and all.

If there’s something we don’t love about ourselves, then others may not love that aspect of us either.

Not because it’s not lovable, but because we will transmit the message of how we feel about ourselves to other people that we meet.

Our partners may think we are beautiful, but if we think we are ugly, over time, we will start to dress and look the way we feel.

Self-love shouldn’t be reliant on others loving us though.

We should replace any damaging, empty, unhealthy relationship with another, for a more meaningful, loving relationship with ourselves. 

Getting to know who we really are as individuals is self-love. The relationship we have with ourselves influences all the other relationships in our lives, and our love for ourselves is more important than any other love we may, or may not, receive from others.

Fat, thin, rich, poor, happy, or depressed, it makes no odds; you can love yourself regardless of who you think you are, or however your past may have been.

Loving yourself does not need to depend on past or future events or relationships. Anyone can start afresh today and learn to love themselves, no matter what.

It’s the single most loving thing we can do for those we love.

We are ALL important in some one’s life, so we must take good care of our own health and happiness. Should we become ill, we would not be in a position to love and care for them. Surely If only to keep us in a strong position to take care of our loved ones, that’s all the motivation we need to ensure we love and care for ourselves?

We need to learn to love ourselves the same way we love our parents, children, partners, and friends.

ENCOURAGING THE FLOW OF LOVE

We will always feel loving, loved, and lovable when we surround ourselves only with people and things that we love.

As babies, we love everything, even the ordinary is extraordinary.

Yet, somewhere along the line, as we learn to compartmentalise and realise what things are and what they do, we lose our love. It’s as though the magic is lost.

The secret is to start to notice, love and appreciate it all again.

Even the neglected old dried out potted plant in the corner and the junk in the drawer.

If we don’t, then we are going to let it go and release it to someone who will give it the love and attention that it deserves. Leaving us only with those things that we love.

LET IT GO

When we are surrounded by love, it flows freely to others, so it’s time to let go and free up some more space for things we love, as opposed to hanging onto things, we’ve accumulated for no reason.

Look at your house hold belongings and choose a category, such as books, and go through your whole house looking for books, discarding or giving away those, you no longer want or need.

Then store the rest in one place in your home, ideally on a bookshelf.

It’s easier to choose categories, rather than individual rooms, as most of us scatter our belongings throughout the house. This is especially true if, we share our house with others such as our children.

LOOKING LOVELY

Clutter can zap us of our energy and old things can stagnate.

After this de cluttering process, we will feel good, it’s not only quite cathartic but it frees up space for nice, new things.

Having fresh space and only surrounding ourselves with things we love, we look and feel better. From now on promise yourself that, you will use and love everything you own.

Surround yourself with beautiful furniture, music, ornaments, paintings, photos, books, candles, scents, pets or plants, that uplift you, and use them all.

LOTIONS & POTIONS

Next go through your make up collection, throwing out any make up passed its use by date. Most cosmetics have a twelve-month shelf life.

Then jewellery boxes, discarding any fashion items that may have changed colour or gone out of fashion.

Potions and lotions such as perfume and shower gels or fancy soaps, need to be used.

Don’t keep them for special occasions, every day you are breathing is a special day, so look, feel and smell special.

Soaps are meant to dissolve and candles are meant to be burnt. When kept for any other purpose they go off and gather dust.

When we hold onto things, it’s like saying we don’t deserve them, or we are unsure if we will ever be able to afford them again?

But we are special, and we are deserving of everything we own.

That’s why it’s ours in the first place. We can always replace what we use in the future, for something even better.

When we are surrounded by love, it flows freely to others and by making space in our environment we are inviting love in by creating room for it.

Looking for love?

There are 7.7 billion people in the world as of October 2019, according to the most recent United Nations estimates. Just ponder that thought for a moment.

That’s a lot of people.

A lot of friends, family and lovers you’ve yet to meet, will never meet and who are looking for you.

Your Time is the Present, Enjoy the Gift,

Em x

While Magpies Danced on the Decking I Dreamed.

I spent years reading, listening, and wondering about magic and miracles?

Six for silver, seven for gold or was that for a secret never to be told?

There was evidence in my daily life when I saw those around me that they didn’t exist, yet as the magpies danced on my decking, I read about writers’, musicians, artists, gurus,  professionals and the like, who told me in no uncertain terms they existed, they were possible and real.

I pondered, maybe I didn’t need a miracle or to experience magic as all was going… well …. normal and good in my life?

Or maybe I’d missed them?

Maybe they were there but I couldn’t identify them?

Until recently, when I won a writing competition to get my book published worldwide. In that moment I felt synchronicity, that serendipitous, deliciousness when I had taken action at precisely the right time, and my path had crossed another who was looking for someone like me. I felt it must be a miracle as my book had sat idle on my laptop for ten years. Now before my very eyes two books had blossomed over -night, and in that moment when I won, I knew there was magic in the air. I felt excited, even more so than any child could ever on Christmas morning. This was a long-awaited moment whose time had come.

But to any other on looker, stranger, friend or family member, it was just an ordinary, mundane moment in time. Not for me, I for the first time felt the magic, experienced a miracle slowly unfold and now, I could at last join those other positivity preachers, who gave me faith and hope along my way, when years went by that were certainly grey. When progress never shifted, not even an inch and I dreamed of the life I felt I should be living.

Do you have a dream in you?

Do you want a miracle or a sprinkling of magic to shimmy up your life?

What desires have you put off over the years that need rekindling?

You know, the ones you feel sad to recall, the ones you feel jealous and envious that others have achieved. The ones that ignite anger or injustice for escaping you. The ones you feel you’re too young, too old, too poor, too uneducated, too unexperienced to begin now?

The dreams buried so deep not even an excavator could dig them up?

That’s your miracle waiting, that’s your magic!

It’s time to start your enchanted journey. Discover for real what’s possible for you and what’s not, there’s value in both, for when the day arrives and you’re forced to look back upon the days when anything was possible, you’ll wonder why you never proved yourself right or wrong?

Why you did nothing.

There’s pain and suffering in the not knowing and the inertia of not even trying. So, by going for your dreams and desires or simple fleeting fancies, what do you have to lose right now?

Don’t cling to regret like its going to justify your existence, it won’t. Grab hold of your destiny where ever that may take you, pick up that paint brush, open that gallery, chuck clay on your wheel, shoot that landscape, open that cake shop, scribble in the coffee shop or sing in the choir of your local church.

Take the risk. Make the steps you walk count and the words you utter matter. Because they do, if not for you for all those you encounter!

Stay Present,

Em x

Who Cares for YOU If You Don’t?

Life has a funny way of slowing us down and making us conscious at times.

Recently I had a minor operation on my foot, which forced me to literally keep my feet up for a few days. I was frustrated by the inconvenience to say the least!

That was until I realised the perfection in the problem.

Time to Relax!

I had been struggling to find time to focus on my accounts and finish editing my latest book for months, and I was almost worn out with everything I had to do, then suddenly I was forced to put my feet up and relax.

And guess what?

I finished those accounts in a weekend and made significant progress with my book, and I had a lot of shut eye to boot.

I also had time to think and to appreciate all those things we usually take for granted. Hidden treasures such as; the sound and glow of a crackling fire on a cold day, the taste of tea and warm toast dripping in butter, the smell of clean fresh laundry blowing on the washing line, and the comfort of crisp cotton sheets on your bed at night.

The sound and glow of a crackling fire on a cold day.

Each day presents us with an array of beautiful moments, that can easily go by unnoticed by our every day senses.

Our health is also something we rarely consider when we are so busy, and it’s certainly something we all take for granted until we become ill, or are unable to function physically or mentally in some way.

I constantly see individuals apologising that, they need a break from helping others and from social media, but it’s not something any of us should feel guilty about.

Self -care should be our priority first and foremost, I mean who cares for YOU if you don’t?

Feeling our body’s discomfort and not be able to do what we want, is the surest sign from Life that, it’s time to slow down. It also gives us the space and time to think about our daily lives, including those habits we rarely, if ever notice.

And these habits are not all bad!

Today I’m finally going to be free of my stiches or should I say sutures?

At last I will be able to enjoy a nice warm bubble bath again. Ahhh…. the bliss hidden in the simple things in life, that we all take for granted.

Feel your skin wet and soapy and take in the full experience of having a bath. 

Next time you have a bath feel the warm water surround you, notice the sparkling bubbles, floating on the surface, and the smelling scent of the soap. Feel your skin wet and soapy and take in the full experience of having a bath. 

Luxuriate in this refreshing experience.

How often do you bath without thinking about these things or without really enjoying or appreciating the experience? 

That’s because when bathing, we are usually somewhere else in mind.

Instead of relaxing in the present moment and enjoying the pleasurable experience, we take it for granted, and it becomes another habit, or as I like to call them Auto Pilot chore.

In fact, anything we do often tends to end up this way. We become desensitised by its familiarity.

We all need time out now and again. Even the most gregarious amongst us need some alone time to; plan, ponder, reflect and recuperate.

Alone time to plan, ponder, reflect and recuperate.

But we needn’t wait until we are forced or it’s too late!

Making ‘U Time’ should be our every day priority. And that includes taking care of our physical health and appearance, sleeping well, eating clean, exercising, meditating, learning, laughing and spending time with those we love, doing what we love most.

Something life was telling me to get back into alignment with, but I hadn’t been listening to while I was chasing my goals.

Enjoy the Present,

Em x

It’s an Inside Job!

Are you a bag of nerves when it comes to job interviews?

Do you wish you could turn your anxiety and fear into courageous confidence instead?

Then read on to discover how, when it comes to job interviews, getting hired is an ‘inside job’ that can work for you.

YOU’RE WORTH MORE

When looking for employment people tend to stay within financial income comfort zones, and cap the amount they think they are worth.

When clients who are looking to find a new vocation, come to me for coaching, they nearly all have one thing in common; they never set their sights high enough.

When looking for employment, people tend to stay within, financial income comfort zones, and cap the amount they think they are worth, overlooking those positions offering higher salaries. Don’t just limit your search to a job that is in your current earning bracket, when you realise how precious your time and skills are to others, your earning potential increases.

WANT IT!

Think of things you enjoy doing, past, present and future, and seek possibilities in those areas.

However you must want the career, not just the money it brings. If your motivation is job satisfaction, then you’re more likely to get the job you want, and to do it well. Know what you want from an occupation and what you have to offer. Think of things you enjoy doing, past, present and future, and seek possibilities in those areas.

Interviewers can smell the difference between candidates desperately needing a job, and enthusiastic people who passionately want the job. So take a deep breath and relax!

BE SELF- AWARE

That is why, being self- aware of your own motives can help in getting hired or not, it can also help in coming across as confident.

Interviewers want to see how quick you can think on your feet and how self- aware you are. It’s not what you say that counts, but how you respond to a question, so be conscious of your strong and weak points in advance, because they will ask you about them. Ideally think of a weakness beforehand, that you can turn into a positive, for e.g. you could say:

‘In the past I always had to work late, but now I’ve learnt how to prioritise my time more effectively.’

This will say a lot more about your strengths than your weaknesses, and will help you to stay present in the moment at all times. If you’ve planned well, then there will be no need for you to think of an answer, while the question is still being asked.

In the words of Benjamin Franklin:

‘If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!’

BE PREPARED

So be prepared and research the company and role, the more information you have the better. Also look at what similar posts and other companies have to offer, this is useful to know, especially if you get offered the position.

Beforehand visualize the interview in every detail as you would like it to be, and focus only on what you want to achieve. Arm yourself with an abundance of your strengths, so you will be ready whenever an opportunity arises to tailor your skills to the job role.

Buying a new suit or getting your hair cut will also prepare you and boost your confidence, and will be one less thing to worry about. Moreover, when you are looking good your confidence will shine through, and building rapport will be easier.

BUILD RAPPORT

Remember you are both there for the same reason- to fill the vacancy, so relax and show the real you. If you are feeling anxious and nervous take some deep belly breaths, and say to yourself ten times ‘I am the right person for this job’

Remember you are both there for the same reason- to fill the vacancy.

Subtly match the interviewer’s body posture, tone and speed of speech, this way you will build rapport a lot quicker. And once that connection has been made, you will feel more comfortable and able to concentrate on the conversation.

A LEARNING OPPORTUNITY

Ask for some feedback, and when you get home write a few notes on what did or didn’t go so well, so you can refer to them in preparation for next time

Don’t be disheartened if you don’t get the job though, it’s not always the best candidate that gets the position; it’s who the interviewer feels is the best interviewee on the day.

Afterwards ask for some feedback, and when you get home write a few notes on what did or didn’t go so well, so you can refer to them in preparation for next time. Remember to keep things in perspective, it’s not a life or death situation, no matter how important it may feel to you at the time. View it as practice and experience leading up to the real thing- your dream job.

Good Luck!

How to Create the Life of Your Dreams When Life Has Other Plans!

Sometimes those perceived disappointments in life, such as that lost job opportunity, redundancy, divorce or sickness, all fool us into thinking they are unfortunate events.

That God, The Universe or Lady Luck is not really listening or not really there!

But there’s always a force greater than us at work on our behalf.


Then like magic, all our prayers had been answered at once.

Those things are meant to be a way of directing us in a different direction, for good reason. Although that may not be apparent right now, all will become clear in the not so distant future.

FORTUNE CAN MAKE US REDUNDANT

When my Husband was being made redundant, everyone I told sympathized with my plight.

‘Oh, no poor you, what are you going to do?

Not one person could see the positive in the situation. 

This amazed me as it was the best thing that could have ever happened to us.

We had spoken of my Husband joining me in my Childminding business as he was working away a lot and travelling home late in the evenings, missing time with our young children. Often, they’d be in bed by the time he arrived home.

My business was growing and I had a waiting list of children waiting for childcare, needing my services but I was limited by how many children I could care for, governed by professional registration.

We didn’t feel brave enough for both of us to take the risk of being self-employed together. On top of that, we knew it would take at least a year for my husband to train and become registered as a childminder, a year of not working we couldn’t afford him to take.

Then like magic, all our prayers had been answered at once.

He was made redundant so he got redundancy pay. Not much but we then had payment protection on our mortgage which paid our mortgage for a whole year, plus they had a back to work incentive and paid for his training to become a childminder. By the time the payment protection had ended, he was registered and able to start working straight away, and we have never looked back.

A PRICELESS OPPORTUNITY

We spend every day together, while he has played with, cared for, and watched our children grow up. Being a hands-on Dad has enabled him to take our children to and from school every day and watch their school concerts.

As well as all of those lovely perks, we have expanded our business to twice its size, earning us more income than we’ve ever had, all from the comfort of our family home. No more commuting cross country, with the added blessing that our house is always filled with children, who fill our home and life with love and laughter, which is priceless.

Had we perceived the redundancy as negative, it could well have taken us on a different path.

Life knew better than us, she had a better, bigger more loving plan for not only us, but the hundreds of children including our own, that we’ve had the pleasure of taking care of over the years.

Sometimes all we can see is our current circumstances, and if they don’t look too good at the time, life can get us down. My life story, like most peoples, didn’t start off too good but turned out even better than I could ever have imagined. It too has a positive redundancy story line.

It started with a list.


It started with a list.

I remember while in work, bored one day in a photographic retail job, for no reason, grabbing a piece of paper from the printer and making a five-year plan.

Well it was a list really of five things I wanted to achieve, within the next five years. It went something like this.

  1. Give up smoking.
  2. Get married in the Caribbean.
  3. Buy a house.
  4. Have two children a boy and a girl specifically.
  5. Have my own business working from home.

Again, as if by magic it would seem Lady Life was humorously looking down upon my list and as a sarcastic joke, offered me the opposite to what I wanted…or did she?

My plans to buy the house I was renting were dashed within days of writing that list, with news that, I was being faced with redundancy as where I worked was closing down.

My then boyfriend also decided to leave me, which seen my smoking habit increase, and demolished my plans of getting married in the Caribbean and having two children.

But actually, Lady Life heard me.

She knew what I wanted and she cleared the way for me to recognize its possibility in my life.

Some may have temporarily given up on their dreams at this point.

I was at an all-time low and my Nan who had brought me up as my Mum, had died too at the same time.

That’s when I was head hunted. I was sat in work seeing out my final weeks before redundancy, wondering what on earth I was going to do, when a manager from a business next door came in and asked me to go for an interview, as they were looking for someone to do what I was doing, selling digital cameras in their company!!!


I was reluctant to go for the interview at first

I was reluctant to go for the interview at first, as it was doing the same boring job I was already doing, which I hated. Fortunately, my current manager urged me to go for the interview in order to keep my options open, as time was running out and I hadn’t even looked for another job yet. So, I went for the interview.

As I wasn’t keen on getting the job I was quite laid back, calm and relaxed in the interview. So much so, I had blagged a huge pay rise compared to what I was earning in my current job.

I had negotiated saying I earnt more when I didn’t, and that I wanted to earn more than that again. They didn’t hesitate in giving me what I asked for. I was one of the highest paid sales person’s on a salary, in the whole company. Having this new job and increase in income,  I applied for a mortgage as quick as I could, (banks were not willing to lend you money unless you had been in your job at least six months) so I had to act fast before I left my old job and started my new one, which was weeks away.


The mortgage went through within weeks, and was final just as I started my new job!

The mortgage went through within weeks, and was final just as I started my new job. That was one thing achieved from my five-year plan already.

Then in my new job I met my husband. We were engaged within six months of getting together, married in the Caribbean within ten months. I gave up smoking to try for a baby. Then started a childminding business from home a year later, when we had our first baby, a little girl. Two years later our son arrived.

Unbeknown to me, I had ticked all five things off my five-year plan, within five years.

It wasn’t until years later when I found that piece of paper, that I had scribbled that list on out of boredom one day, that I realise what had manifested in my life as a result, without any real expectation or effort on my part.

LOVE LISTS

One of the most powerful tools for creating a life we love is the humble written word.


 Our written thoughts, feelings and intentions, excel their physical creation.

It doesn’t matter how we freeze those words in physical form, either by writing to -do -lists, five- year plans or keeping journals or diaries?   Our written thoughts, feelings and intentions, excel their physical creation.

I don’t know why? or how? This is such a powerful way to create our lives.

But I know without a doubt, it is.

How to Achieve the Ultimate Goal?

Come New Year 2020, you’ll be glad you persevered.

We all need goals to succeed in life but it’s not just about the end result.

On the journey towards our goal, our own happiness along the way, is more important than the end destination of achieving the goal itself.

It’s all about the day to day process of creating or learning that is significant. We all want to succeed in achieving our goals to feel good, therefore feeling good is the ultimate goal.

With that in mind, here are some pointers that can help us to feel good while working towards our goals.

CHOOSE WORTH WHILE GOALS

We need goals that personally mean something to us. If we have a goal to quit smoking because our partner wants us to, we are less likely to stick at it and succeed.

TAKE SMALL STEPS

It’s good to keep the end result in mind but sometimes this can be overwhelming, especially to begin with. Break goals down into small, easy, manageable steps and work towards goals gradually.

HAVE FUN

Goals give us direction and intention in the moment, but we can only find enthusiasm and motivation, if the steps that lead to our goals are enjoyable and worthwhile.


BE REALISTIC

Goals need to be achievable. If our ambitions are getting us down or are too difficult and challenging, they’ll only serve to make us feel defeated, instead of successful.


Goals need to be achievable.

BE SPECIFIC

Wanting to lose weight for example, is not specific enough. We have to decide how much weight we want to lose exactly. What’s the ideal weight we are aiming for or clothes size we want to be?

SET A TIME SCALE

When exactly do you want to achieve your goal?

By July the fourth 2019 is a definite date and better than saying, ‘Before I go on holiday’


We have to decide how much weight we want to lose exactly.

You are more likely to achieve your goal with a time scale set.

MEASURE PROGRESS & RESULTS

By being specific about what you want and when, you can measure how you are doing.

If your goal is to lose 2 stone by July 2019 and you’ve already lost a stone by November 2018, you know you are half way there and that it’s a realistic goal that’s achievable.

BE DECISIVE

Decide that today is going to be the day you start.

Set a goal and stick to it!

Then give it all you’ve got, unless of course it’s not working.

CHANGE IT

Sometimes things change, so don’t be afraid to change your goals if needs be.

There’s little point carrying on in pursuit of a goal, if it’s no longer suitable, working or fulfilling us in some way.

BUILD RESILIENCE

It’s hard to recover and bounce back from failure or challenges, if our only focus is on successfully achieving a goal.

Switching our focus to the process of learning, and prioritising our happiness and well -being along the way, will build resilience.


It’s hard to recover and bounce back from failure or challenges, if our only focus is on successfully achieving a goal.

Resilience comes from understanding that it’s not failure or what goes wrong that’s the problem, it’s our own expectations and how we deal with it, and how good we are at being able to pick ourselves back up again and carry on.

KEEP THE FAITH 

We need to build inner strength and faith.

We may not always see how something is going to turn out or know exactly what we have to do?

But we can still stay faithful to our goals and dreams.

STAY POSITIVE

Every cloud has a silver lining, if we can identify any good that comes from seemingly negative experiences, then we will be more inclined to learn and bounce back from them, and try again.


Every cloud has a silver lining!

By keeping focused on the positive and looking for the good in everything, we will eventually find it, and less likely to feel helplessly beaten by negativity.

Sometimes it’s just a case of changing our perspective, other times our behaviour.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

Our actions and the way we feel, is important to reaching our goals.

No one else can actually make us feel happy, upset or angry.

How we feel is our own responsibility.

It’s up to us to choose our response, we have the ability to respond to others and circumstances any way we choose. When we can take responsibility and still stay positive and upbeat when others aren’t, or when things are not going right, we will be the master of our own emotions and be able achieve our goals no matter what.

LEARN FROM FAILURE

We are not a failure if we don’t succeed or reach our goals, we are a success because we tried.

As Edison said about discovering a certain filament, in inventing an electric light bulb;

‘I didn’t fail a thousand times; I found a thousand ways that it wouldn’t work!’

Despite the many failures, he eventually found that filament, had he given up trying, we may all still be sat in the dark today?

His best teacher was failure. Keep that in mind before you even consider giving up!

NEVER GIVE UP

Edison was also quoted as saying;

‘Many of life’s failures are, people who didn’t realise how close they were to success when they gave up.’

When the going gets tough remember this motto:

‘Winners never quit and quitters never win!’

It may be April already, but don’t give up on your good goal’s guys!

Come New Year 2020, you’ll be glad you persevered.

As long as we can remember that the ultimate goal is always happiness, this will not only help us to succeed but it’ll help us to Stay Present!

Em x

Think BIG Start SMALL

Think BIG Start small

Motivation is what gets us going on our dreams and desires.

In the beginning we are full of big ideas and goals. We feel enthusiastic and inspired. We even jump out of bed excited to get going on those goals.

Then after a couple of days, weeks, months or maybe even years, our motivation starts dwindling.

We start wondering why our dreams have not yet materialised into reality?

Negativity and self- doubt creeps in to comfort us, telling us;

‘You don’t need to put yourself through this.’

‘Your life is good enough as it is, let those fairy-tale fantasies go!’ or ‘Who do you think you are you’re no real, artist, actress, entrepreneur, writer, musician, mum, dad, manager, teacher, politician or whatever else you set out and aspired to become?

We question why we even started to begin with and who or why are we doing it all for anyway?

The Key to Motivation is Motive

The truth is motivation doesn’t last. Its just like brushing your teeth, it’s a habit you have to acquire over time. You wouldn’t stop brushing your teeth because you couldn’t be bothered though, would you?

You know over time that would affect your good looks and how others saw you.

And it’s the same when we can’t be bothered to work on our goals and dreams. Overtime we don’t feel good, unfulfilled dreams can leave a bad taste in our mouths and like rotten teeth eat away at us. Others start to notice our slovenly self-care and can see every time that we open our mouth that we’ve lost our mojo.

But it’s never too late!

We can get that energy, passion, zest for life and motivation back. As long as we are alive, we can get our mojo back no matter what.

The Dream Weaver

So, dust off your dream’s tomorrows a new day.

Today start dreaming BIG!

No BIGGER still.

What is it you really, really want in your life?

While we are at the dreaming stage anything is possible. New home, new career, new relationship, new business venture or travel adventure, new body, new lifestyle, new YOU?

It’s all there ready and waiting for you to get started on your dreams.

You know its possible because you see others achieving exactly what you want to achieve. And deep down you know they are no different or no better than you.

In fact, the only difference between those who are living their dreams and You, is that they are taking action and are motivated to do something, while you are still at the dreaming stage.

Hopefully you’ll soon get bored, angry and frustrated just dreaming. Then tomorrow the fun begins!

Start Small

If the thought of your goals and dreams just overwhelms you with its grandness, don’t worry.

RELAX.

You won’t get far feeling overwhelmed, fearful or anxious.

If you’ve heard you have to work hard to get anywhere, forget that too!

It’s working happier, not harder.

You will achieve far more and feel more enjoyment and satisfaction, by being relaxed and happy when, enjoying the journey towards your goal, than you ever will from working hard, stressing out and getting impatient.

Its about enjoying the process. You’ve probably heard that a million times? That’s because it so true.

I’m addicted to doing courses. I’m driven like an obsessed learning junkie, who needs her fix of info and education. Every course I pay to enrol on is completely different because I like a challenge (and I get bored easily!!!) And every course I try to race through, so I can start the next…although I always promise my husband ‘No really this course will be my last.’

I just want the buzz of completion, but what always happens?

At the end, I just feel a bit deflated. A little sad even. Its like getting to the end of a good book or film that you wanted to go on forever.

I’ve come to realise that, I actually enjoy learning and doing the courses themselves, not for the recognition, certification, qualifications or whatever else comes at the end.

And so it is with any goal or dream. It’s the fun, enjoyment and anticipation of a goal or dream, that’s far more exciting, than the goal or dream itself.

Hang onto that sentence whenever you are feeling a bit demotivated, it’ll help you get going again.

If it doesn’t, then the goal or dream probably isn’t really YOUR goal or dream? Or isn’t something that you sincerely dream about, that still excites you?

When I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar (well steakhouse really) I was a lost, innocent naive teen. I had no goals or dream or direction. I was carried along day to day, like driftwood. I was studying at college but just didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life?

Suddenly the allure of the late nights working in the busy city centre, a promotion, and what seemed like a lot of money to me back then, tempted me to work in that restaurant full time.

Then I was stuck!

Don’t get me wrong, it was one of the best, most entertaining, interesting, enjoyable jobs I have ever done. But it just wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I went as far as I could there and then I started feeling like a prisoner, who could not escape, and wouldn’t know where to go or what to do if I did?

Then one day a chef there gave me a book that was to change my life forever.

The Magic of Thinking BIG by David J. Schwartz

Learn the Secrets of Success

It really was a magically experience for me and it significantly shifted my perception of both life and myself.

And I’ve been thinking BIG ever since.

This has helped motivate me on my darkest days. I’ve read the book a few times but not in the last twenty years or so, but the lessons I learnt in those pages are timeless gifts, that have helped me achieve most of what I have set out to, so far.

We should never stop dreaming.

But dreams are rarely achieved over night (unless like me you meet the man of your dreams or unlike me, win the lottery!)

Dreams take love, commitment, motivation and dedication.

You have to be dedicated. And this means taking those small steps towards your dreams and goals, each and every day.

If taken step by step, little by little, putting all those steps together, any goal or dream becomes manageable and eventually complete. I started off with the dream of writing a parenting self- help book, (I knew how important these books can be and how they can actually change lives, as I’ve had several helping me out along the way)

I started small with one word at a time, which led to a page, a page led to a chapter and well ten years later, I now have four books ready to publish. I didn’t plan on a quartet, I was just enjoying the process so much (and at times hating it…. editing!!!) that I didn’t want it to end, so I never stopped writing.

If you are faced with a problem or are feeling overwhelmed, break it down in to stages. Dealing with it bit by bit, will make it less daunting, easier and quicker to solve.

Using this method, we can learn to do anything, no matter how difficult it initially seems. All we have to do is recognise the small achievements along the way but most importantly, be supportive, encouraging, and loving of ourselves, for all of our efforts, not just for our achievements. As long as progress is being made so will mistakes. But we can’t let them deter us or be our excuse to quit. These are our greatest teachers, but we’ll leave failure as our option for next time.

Until then, Stay Present,

Em x

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