It’s that time of year again that loved up hopeless romantic’s love, and lonely singletons loathe – Valentine’s Day!
But whether you’re single, in the honeymoon period of a new relationship, or have been married for years, there’s one person that deserves your love more than anyone else – YOU!
‘You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.’ Buddha
The best investment you can make in your love life is learning to love yourself again. (Yes, you did used to love every bit of you when you were born, even your own toes!)
Loving yourself doesn’t mean blowing kisses to yourself in the mirror in a narcissistic way (although that could be a good place to start?)
I mean healthy self- love. For example, speaking to yourself like you would a loved one, in a supportive, caring way, and taking good care of your health and well- being.
Below are a few loving pointers to get you started;
Over the years as we grow up, we start listening to other people’s opinions about us, and any criticism received we tend to remember. Then when things go wrong or we make mistakes, we tell ourselves that others peoples negative views were right. We then add to them by mentally berating ourselves, turning other people’s false opinions of us into self -fulfilling prophecies i.e. a reality.
But we can all be more loving towards ourselves by remembering that any criticism from another person is just their opinion, and as long as we don’t believe it and join in with the hate campaign, then it’s not true. This means not ruminating over, or joining in with that negative mental chatter that goes on in our own minds, that never seems to shut up!
Instead practice talking to yourself lovingly. Affirmations are a great way to practice loving yourself more, they are simply positive statements said in the present tense.
E.g. whenever you make a mistake, instead of calling yourself ‘Stupid’ reassure yourself that you are always doing your best and say; ‘I am doing the best that I can at this time, and my best is always good enough’ and repeat this affirmation often. You can say it quietly in your mind or you can proclaim it out loud; whatever makes you feel most comfortable, but never underestimate the power of your words on your subconscious mind, affirmations work!
It’s a good idea to take good care of our physical bodies, after all they are the only body that we ever own. If we can start to notice the good parts of our body more than the bits we don’t like, then we can learn to love the skin we are in. Take a look at your body each morning in the mirror and focus on the bits you love; you might have nice legs or a nice smile?
Whatever you like focus on that, the more you can love and accept yourself exactly as you are today, the more likely you will be to take care of your physically body, and that means if there’s bits you dislike now, then in the future with time and loving care they will change for the better. Focusing on our negative aspects only makes us feel worse about ourselves, and when we don’t feel good, we are more inclined to poison ourselves with alcohol, cigarettes, drugs and junk food.
If we can form a healthy, loving, relationship with food, such as choosing to eat healthy, nutritious, natural foods, like fresh fruit and vegetables, lean meat and fish, and drinking plenty of water, then food will love us back. If we eat well then food will give us energy and nutrients to keep us slim and trim. If we constantly eat junk food however, we will gain excess weight through empty calories and will feel tired, sluggish, and irritable.
When we act and feel this way as well as looking and feeling unfit, we can lack health and vitality, and may find it hard to really love ourselves. To burn calories, increase our energy levels, and to release feel good chemicals in our bodies, then we need to keep as active as we can on a daily basis.
Our bodies are designed to move about, so move whenever you can. You don’t need to go to the gym to keep fit, just move. Doing house work, walking the dog, dancing, playing with the children, all burn calories, so get up and get going now, your body will love you for it!
No Valentine to take you to the cinema?
Then go it alone, or make time for yourself to do those things you love that simply make you happy. A soak in a bubble bath with a magazine, a cuppa and a good book, painting, fishing, football, knitting, whatever you choose to do, schedule time in your diary to prioritise YOU Time!
You may not have a partner to spoil you this Valentine’s Day, but you are still worth treating, so spoil yourself.
A treat once in a while can make us feel good, so go and buy yourself some chocolate, perfume, aftershave, flowers, beer or bubbly and a take- away, and curl up on the sofa with yourself. This way at least someone loves you, and you’ll never leave you if you love yourself right, and once you truly love yourself, others will love you too!
Don’t forget there are a lot of friends, family and lovers you’ve yet to meet, who are looking for you.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!
Your Time is the Present, Enjoy the Gift,